Who wants to feel old? Maude Flanders has been dead for more episodes than she’s been alive.
So I was looking at the TV Tropes page for Arrested Development and found this gem on the Wild Mass Guessing page for the show:
George-Michael is not Michael’s son at all, but a superintelligent android created by the FBI to spy on the Bluth family.
Forty-five years before the pilot, the FBI began to get suspicious of George Sr’s accounting practices. So, they sent one of their youngest agents, codenamed Tracy, to get close to Michael and find the evidence of George Sr’s illegal transactions. When engaged, Tracy was almost close enough to the family to find the evidence. But George Sr, through his many contacts, found out about Tracy’s true intentions, but knew that telling the truth to Michael would show the FBI of his many ‘friends’ in the government. So, he hired Gob to perform his magic at the wedding ceremony. However, before the ceremony began, he sabotaged the machine that Gob was going to use to create the fireball, and set it to aim at Tracy’s head. He also put untraceable amounts of plutonium in the chemicals used to make the fire in order to give Tracy the cancer that she later died from.
But the FBI wasn’t about to let all of their effort go to waste. They created the world’s most advanced android, with such humanlike features that nobody would be able to tell that he wasn’t human. It even grew at about the same pace as a human, starting as a fetus and growing into a man over 20 years. They implanted the ‘child’ into Tracy, and she told Michael that it was his. They had the child, and shortly afterwords Tracy died from her cancer.
Over the next thirteen years, George-Michael grew and was commanded by the FBI. Every year, he used the Bring-Your-Daughter-To-Work day to search through George Sr’s desk, looking for incriminating evidence. Over time, they collected a substantial amount of evidence against George Sr, and on the day of his retirement arrested him. George-Michael was then told to be a watcher, making sure that his father ran the company legally and responsibly. But on the day of the retirement party, something happened that the FBI didn’t forsee - George-Michael learned to love.
He had not experienced anything like it, and as such, started out being very awkward around Maeby. Over the next few months, he learned what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately for him, the FBI figured out what was going on, and made another android to control George-Michael - Ann. They also sent two of their top agents to act as her parents, which explains why Mrs. Veal had a child but didn’t know what making love was. Being based on the same technology as George-Michael and with the help of the FBI, Ann was able to control him and get him away from Maeby, which as we know, worked for about a year. But with Ann still near, he knew that telling Maeby that they weren’t related would put her in mortal danger, and thus had to figure out a way to get rid of her.
A few hours before Michael’s party on the Queen Mary, George-Michael set his plan into action. He had found out that Ann was living with Gob in the C-Word, so he went over there to confront her. However, he expected Gob to be with Michael planning the party, not on the boat, so he was thankful when Gob gave him the opportunity to knock him out, making sure that Gob didn’t learn his real identity. He then punched Ann out, and was sailing out onto the ocean to dump Ann when his father came on board, thinking him to be fleeing. But George-Michael knew that he had a responsibility to the Bluths to help them, so he told his father he was going down to use the bathroom, and then took the speedboat over to the Queen Mary.
Once on the boat, he called in a favor from a friend in the FBI, and had the SEC abandon the mission. He then admitted his secret, and told Maeby that, according to Californian law, if two minors are married they are automatically emancipated. So they moved away to LA, where Maeby continued her job as a studio executive. And they all lived happily ever after.
And THAT’S how you narrate a story.
what the hell even is a “TF2 update” its not a webcomic??? do they add a character and everyone IMMEDIATELY begins shipping them with every other character in a fetish feeding frenzy
It’s an update to the game.
Who needs new characters we added new hats.
6 hours later and im still really confused by this
TF2 is a hat simulator; we need to make sure that hats will be able to withstand battle
thank you being the one to finally help me understand tf2 fandom
Obama chuckled. ”You mean the Chaos Emeralds?”
Quad City DJ’s vs. Daft Punk - Give Slams Back to Music
And in that moment, I swear we were moe.